5 Tips for Navigating Holiday Stress and Family Dynamics

The holidays are a frequent source of tension. Maybe it’s the logistics of trying to get the entire family together in one place at the same time. Perhaps it's worrying about old grudges or disagreements that can make such gatherings tense and awkward.

Board-certified psychiatrist Dr. Ifeanyi Olele of Genesis Psychiatric Solutions offers help with anxiety that can worsen around the holiday season, and tips for navigating family dynamics and common stressors.

Are you bracing yourself for the holidays? Instead of deciding to just hang on by your fingernails come what may, plan how to deal with your holiday fears ahead of time and enter the fray armed with a plan.

Let go of expectations

You’re not the only generation to feel anxious and stressed about the holidays. Your parents and their parents before them likely experienced the same kinds of feelings. 

There’s a lot of pressure to have a perfect holiday, but unfortunately things rarely work out that way. Just accept that families are messy and holidays are too, and let go of perfection.

Take a good look at your finances

It can be tempting to put your holiday on credit and worry about it after the new year, but is there really a need to go into debt? Would your family want that for you? 

Make your holiday more about the experience and less about gifts. A white elephant exchange can be fun for everyone, and good food trumps everything.

All family is not blood

If you’re estranged from your family, that’s OK. A chosen family is just as important, and maybe the holidays look more like a group of friends getting together for pizza than a stiff formal dinner under the disapproving stare of a matriarch or patriarch who doesn’t really accept you. 

Plus, you get to avoid the holiday regression that happens every time you get around them.

Set boundaries

Family dynamics can be awful. Are there constant questions about when you’re planning to have kids or snide remarks about your weight? 

Let people know what topics are off-limits and that you’ll leave if the comments don’t stop. Then follow through. Sure, they’ll be upset. But there’s always next year, and maybe the disruption of toxic traditions will hit home.

Just say no

A lot of people — especially women — take on the lion’s share of responsibilities around the holidays. Shopping, cooking, gift selection and wrapping, participating on cookie exchanges, and volunteering for church and school events all take time and energy. 

Decide how much time you can devote to these activities and don’t overload your calendar.

The holidays should be a time for rest, relaxation, and rejoicing, not a whirlwind of frustration, family fights, and hurt feelings. Plan ahead this year and preserve your mental health.

To learn more about how holidays can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and to get help, call our location closest to you or request a consultation online. We’re located in Fairfax and Alexandria, Virginia, and in Washington, DC.