Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) affects around 6% of Americans over the age of 18 (about 15.5 million adults). People with ADHD can struggle with extremely heightened emotions in the face of conflict, and the resulting feelings of rejection can cause anxiety and depression.
At Genesis Psychiatric Solutions, our board-certified psychiatrist, Dr. Ifeanyi Olele, treats a range of mental health issues, including ADHD.
We can help you understand what’s happening inside your brain, why you react so strongly to real or perceived slights, and how to make life easier on yourself by learning to manage your emotional responses.
There’s a strong link between ADHD and what is commonly known as rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD). This link traces back to emotional dysregulation, which is when your brain can’t properly regulate the signals related to your emotions.
Many people with ADHD recognize the feeling of sounds being too loud, lights too bright, or the texture of clothing being too distracting. Every sensation is intensified, even to the point of causing the perception of physical pain.
With emotional dysregulation, it’s the connections in your brain responsible for communicating emotions that reach the extreme. Instead of physical stimuli becoming unbearable, it’s emotional stimuli that set you off.
Let’s look at a couple of real-world examples of RSD.
You’re helping set up for an event at your workplace or school. Someone suggests you try a different method for the task you’re both working on.
They say: “Hey, doing it this way can make it easier and faster!”
Your brain hears: “The way you are doing that is stupid. In fact, you’re stupid.”
This perceived rejection can send you into a tailspin of unhappiness and depression. You decide that the person you were working with despises you. You end up leaving before the event starts.
You’re competing for a promotion or a spot on a team against a well-qualified field of other candidates. They chose another candidate.
They tell you: “We loved your resume/presentation, but we’ve filled the position.”
Your brain hears: “Wow, we can’t believe you even applied. You never had a chance, dummy.”
This real but common type of rejection feels deeply personal, even though it isn’t. You can’t stop thinking about what people must be saying behind your back. You lose a lot of your enthusiasm and even consider quitting.
People with ADHD are more likely than the general population to have an overly active internal soundtrack, often described as self-directed speech, or self-talk. This frequently takes the form of imagined conversations with others about a recent incident of real or perceived rejection.
These conversations go around and around in your head, becoming increasingly negative. The best way to stop this destructive cycle is to seek professional mental health services from a skilled provider like Dr. Olele.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you change your thoughts to change how you feel.
You learn to recognize when you start to spiral and rein in your RSD by examining what really happened versus what your sensitive brain is trying to tell you happened.
Eventually, you’re able to take rejection less personally and avoid the destructive cycle of negative self-talk that leads to depression.
Dr. Olele can provide treatment options for managing ADHD and improving how you handle your emotional reactions to normal conflicts or differences of opinion with other people.
To learn more, contact us at one of our offices in Fairfax or Alexandria, Virginia, or in Washington, DC. Schedule a 10-minute phone consultation today.
